Bac Espaces et échanges

Bonjour
j'ai mon oral blanc d'anglais lundi et j'ai besoin d'une correction svp s'il vous plaît . Merci pour votre aide.

I’m going to talk about places and forms of power. First of all, I’d like to give a definition of this notion. An exchange is when we give in return for something received – this can be anything from money, ideas, gifts or financial aid. Interactions and exchanges across the borders have become easier and faster. I would l

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Grade: Education Subject: anglais
Bac Espaces et échanges

Bonjour
j'ai mon oral blanc d'anglais lundi et j'ai besoin d'une correction svp s'il vous plaît . Merci pour votre aide.

I’m going to talk about places and forms of power. First of all, I’d like to give a definition of this notion. An exchange is when we give in return for something received – this can be anything from money, ideas, gifts or financial aid. Interactions and exchanges across the borders have become easier and faster. I would like to illustrate this notion through the theme of cultural interactions. What are the advantages and disadvantages of Gap year ? First of all, I will concentrate on the drawbacks of such an experience, then I will analyse positive aspect of it. To my mind, the documents that best illustrate the notion are :
-An article entitled “ the big issue” by Kim Bielenberg
-An audio recording

Initially, a gap year it’s a year after high school and before entering university, that some young people from anglo-saxon countries use as an opportunity to get experience In many fields to travel around the world. You can involved in enveronnemental programs or on dramanitarity projects schemes. In the audio recording a man ask at the question : What is the gap year ? and give his opinion. He mentions that gap year makes students more mature and responsible. You discover and learn new customs, lifestyles; meet new people and participate to new activities. According to him it allows students once they return to the university to apply in real life what they have learned. It’s becoming more fashionable because parents consider that they are well organised. And I’m totally agree with him because we learn language faster and work methods that we can apply.

Secondly, there are several drawbacks in gap year, and in the article of Kim show it. The narrator’s point of view is neutral, he informs us that gap year is simply “ a doss year” paid by the bank of mum and dad. He carrie son with the fact that some students spend their time “lolling beaches”, it gives an impression of laziness. He adds that he could be a danger with the fact some students will not continue their students. And I can add that you leave your family, friends and home, you may feel homesick lonely. Besides you may difficulties to adapt yourself with the local people on the country. Sometimes the living standard is rather high and expensive or In some countries you can catch harmful diseases. To my mind, I’m agree with the fact you can have difficulties to go back studying after a gap year. I know a person that she’s participating in this program, she’s In India and I wonder if she will succed to return studing.

To conclude, There are advantages and disadvantages in the gap year such as all programs but there is more advantages and if I could I will opt for it. Taking a year-off to travel and getting involved in humanitarian causes in under privileged countries I found that it’s a good plan pause for a breather, go abroad, take a job, or engage as a volunteer.
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I’m going to talk about places and forms of power. First of all, I’d like to give a definition of this notion. The different spaces of the world are nowadays more and more connected to each other. An exchange is when we give in return for something received – this can be anything from money, ideas, gifts or financial aid. Interactions and exchanges across the borders have become easier and faster. I would like to illustrate this notion through the theme of cultural interactions. What are the advantages and disadvantages of a "Gap year"? 


Firstly, more and more students who can afford 
it take the time off opting for a gap year. A gap year is a year after high school and before entering the university, aiming at getting more experience (formulation moins lourde). They can find options that are available to do services in other countries to experience the world before going back to school. They can be involved in environmental programs or on humanitarian projects . The gap year makes students more mature and responsible. You discover and learn new customs, meet new people and participate to new activities. Students can also discover themselves. For example with the article « Postcard from the edge » and Jennifer Dawis who spent time in an Inuit's village as a teaching assistant (as = en tant que + toujours "a" devant un métier). She learns their customs and they have changed their mind. Finally, she wants to become a Doctor and goes back there.
It's a human experience.

But on the other hand, there are several drawbacks in a gap year. Some gap year
s may be a rip-off.
First, some gap year
s are expensive and the website « This is money» shows it. With Internet, a lot of people used to take the term of "gap year" and takes advantage of it. Some gap years which suggest a travel to people have to pay far too much ==> cette phrase n'a aucun sens, je ne vois pas ce que tu veux dire du tout. 

Then the schemes are spurious and badly organized. So an arrival, students are disappointed and ignored.
And some students think that gap year is 
a holiday and spend their time on beaches. They forget that they are voluntary workers and that they are here to help people in difficulty like Africans or Inuits.